We tend to think of weddings as somewhat public events, where the attendance of family and friends is an integral part of the day: but there may be good reasons why a couple decide they want something much more intimate, perhaps with only the two of them present. These reasons might include;
- You or your partner can’t bear being the centre of attention and the anxiety of this would simply ruin the occasion for you
- One or both of you have done ‘the big wedding’ before and are seeking something much more spiritual and intimate
- You are marrying in later life, perhaps for a second or third time, and simply don’t want the ‘drama’ of a big event
- There are rifts within the family that make it just too complicated or awkward to manage everyone being in one place at the same time, or would lead to some people not attending
- There is opposition from family members or friends to the union
Whatever the reason, it is of course critical to manage the situation with sensitivity. Even when couples really wish they could have a private and intimate wedding ceremony, they sometimes fear upsetting or hurting those they love and therefore go down a more traditional route. Obviously each situation is different so there are no ‘golden rules’ around how to handle this dilemma. If you do decide to opt for a very private affair however, thinking about different ways to celebrate or mark the occasion with those you love might soften the blow. For example, why not celebrate with different groups of family and friends at different times and in a way that best suits your relationship with them. Or what about filming the ceremony and sharing with loved ones afterwards?
So if a secret wedding ceremony is what you really want and feels right for you as a couple, then go for it!